01. The View From The Afternoon

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there’ll be some love
Tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah, regardless of what’s gone before

I want to see all of the things that we’ve already seen
The lairy girls hung out the window of the limousine
And of course its fancy dress
And they’re all looking quite full on
In bunny ears and devil horns in hell

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there’ll be some love
Tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah, regardless of what’s gone before

I want to see all of the things that we’ve already seen
I want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine
And put it all back in
You’ve got to understand it you can never beat the bandit, no

And she won’t be surprised and she won’t be shocked
When she’s pressed the star after she’s pressed unlock
And there’s verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you’ve drank a lot
You should bear that in mind tonight
Bear that in mind, yeah you should
Bear that in mind tonight
Bear that in mind
You can pour your heart out but her reasoning will block
Owt you send her after nine o’clock

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there’ll be some love
Tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah, regardless of what’s gone before

And she won’t be surprised and she won’t be shocked
When she’s pressed the star after she’s pressed unlock
And there’s verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you’ve drank a lot
You should bear that in mind tonight
Bear that in mind, yeah you should
Bear that in mind tonight
Bear that in mind

You can pour your heart out around 3 o’clock
When the 2 for 1’s undone the writers block

02. I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor

Stop making the eyes at me, I’ll stop making the eyes at you
And what it is that surprises me is that I don’t really want you to
And your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night)
Oh, but you’re an explosion (you’re dynamite)
Your name isn’t Rio, but I don’t care for sand
And lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don’t know if you’re looking for romance or
I don’t know what you’re looking for
I said, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

I wish you’d stop ignoring me, because it’s sending me to despair
Without a sound, yeah, you’re calling me, and I don’t think it’s very fair
That your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night)
Oh, but you’re an explosion (you’re dynamite)
Your name isn’t Rio, but I don’t care for sand
Lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don’t know if you’re looking for romance or
I don’t know what you’re looking for
I said, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

Oh, there ain’t no love, no Montagues or Capulets
Are just banging tunes and DJ sets and…
Dirty dancefloors, and dreams of naughtiness!

Well, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don’t know if you’re looking for romance or
I don’t know what you’re looking for
I said, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

03. Fake Tales Of San Francisco

Fake tales of San Francisco
Echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco
Without a bride or groom

There’s a super cool band yeah
With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rockstars in the toilets
Practicing their lines

I don’t want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don’t want to hear, you know
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don’t want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don’t want to hear you
I don’t want to hear your…

Fake tales of San Francisco
Echo through the air
And there’s a few bored faces at the back
All wishing they weren’t there

And as the microphone squeaks
A young girl’s telephone beeps
Yeah she’s dashing for the exit
And she’s running to the streets outside
Oh you’ve saved me, she screams down the line
The band were fucking wank
And I’m not having a nice time

I don’t want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don’t want to hear, you know
(Kick me out, kick me out)

Yeah but his bird thinks it’s amazing, though
So all that’s left
Is the proof that love’s not only blind but deaf

He talks of San Francisco, he’s from Hunter’s Bar
I don’t quite know the distance
But I’m sure that’s far
Yeah I’m sure that’s pretty far

And yeah, I’d love to tell you all my problem
You’re not from New York City, you’re from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Yeah

04. Dancing Shoes

Get on your dancin’ shoes
There’s one thing on your mind
Hopin’ they’re lookin’ for you
Sure you’ll be rummagin’ through

Oh and the shit, shock, horror
You’ve seen your future bride
Yeah but it’s oh so absurd
For you to say the first word
So you’re waitin’ and waitin’

The only reason that you came
So what you scared for?
Well don’t you always do the same?
It’s what you there for

Don’t you know the lights are flashin’
Down in here tonight?
And some might exchange a glance
But keep pretendin’ to dance

Don’t act like it’s not happenin’
As if it’s impolite
To go and mention your name
Instead you’ll just do the same as they all do
And hope for the best

The only reason that you came
So what you scared for?
Well don’t you always do the same?
It’s what you’re there for, but no!

Get on your dancin’ shoes
You sexy little swine
Hopin’ theyre lookin’ for you
Sure you’ll be rummagin’ through

And I said the shit, shock, horror
You’ve seen your future bride, yeah
Yeah but it’s oh so absurd
For you to say the first word
So you’re waitin’ and waitin’

05. You Probably Couldn’t See For The Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me

One look sends it coursing through the veins oh how the feeling races
Back up to their brains to form expressions on there stupid faces
They don’t want to say hello
Like I want to say hello
Oh the heartbeats at its peak when you’re coming up to speak

And I’m so tense, never tenser
Could all go a bit Frank Spencer?
I’m talking gibberish, tip of the tongue but I can’t deliver it
…Properly, oh it’s all getting on top of me
And if it weren’t this dark you’d see how red my face has gone

Everybody’s trying to crack the jokes and that to make you smile
Those that claim that they’re not showing off are drowning in denial
They’re not half as bad as me say anything and I’ll agree
When it comes to acting up, I’m sure I could write the book

And now that you’re more than a part in the play
It’s slightly easier to think what to say
You had us all, standing on our heads
Doing our best tricks

Never again
Never again, will there be another one that’s as desirable as you
One look sends it coursing through the veins oh how the feeling races
Back up to their brains to form expressions on there stupid faces

06. Still Take You Home

Oh it’s ever so funny
‘Cause I don’t think you’re special
I don’t think you’re cool
You’re just probably alright
But under these lights you look beautiful

And I’m strugglin’
I can’t see through your fake tan
Yeah, you know it for a fact
That everybody’s eatin’ out of your hands

But what do you know?
Oh you know nothing
Yeah, but I’ll still take you home
Yeah, I’ll still take you home
So what do you know?
Said you don’t know nothing

Well fancy seein’ you in here
You’re all tarted up
And you don’t look the same
Well I haven’t seen you since last year
Yeah surprisingly
You have forgot my name

But you know it
Yeah, you knew it all along
Oh you say you have forgotten
But you’re fibbing
Go on tell me I’m wrong

So what do you know?
Oh you know nothing
Yeah, but I’ll still take you home
Yeah, I’ll still take you home
So what do you know?
Oh you don’t know nothing, no

I say what do you know?
That you don’t know nothing, no
Yeah, but I’ll still take you home
Yeah, I’ll still take you home
I said what do you know?
Oh you don’t know nothing

I fancy you with a passion
You’re a Topshop princess, a rockstar too
But you’re a fad, you’re a fashion
And I’m having a job trying to talk to you

But it’s alright, yeah I’ll put it all on one-side
Oh ’cause everybody’s looking
You’ve got control of everyone’s eyes
Including mine

07. Riot Van

So up rolls a riot van
And sparks excitement in the boys
But the policemen look annoyed
Perhaps these are ones they should avoid

Got a chase last night
From men with truncheons dressed in hats
We didn’t do that much wrong
Still ran away though for the laugh
Just for the laugh
And please just stop talking
Cause they won’t find us if you do
Oh those silly boys in blue
Well they won’t catch me and you

Have you been drinking, son
You don’t look old enough to me
I’m sorry, officer
Is there a certain age you’re supposed to be
Cause nobody told me

And up rolls the riot van
And these lads just wind the coppers up
They ask why they don’t catch proper crooks
They get their address and their names took
But they couldn’t care less

Thrown in the riot van
And all the coppers kicked him in
And there was no way he could win
Just had to take it on the chin

08. Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured

Ask if we can have six in
If not we’ll have to have two
Well you’re coming up at our end aren’t you
So I’ll get one with you
Oh, won’t he let us have six in
Especially not with the food
He could have just told us no though
He didn’t have to be rude

You see her with the green dress
She talked to me at the bar
Well how come it’s already two pound fifty
We’ve only gone about a yard
Didn’t you see she were gorgeous
She were beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking his Smirnoff Ice
Came and paid for her Tropical Reef

But I’m sitting going backwards
And I didn’t want to leave
I said it’s High Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Well how funny were that sketch earlier
Up at that taxi rank
Oh no you woulda missed it,
I think it were when you went to the bank
These two lads, squaring up, proper shouting
‘I were next in the queue!’
The kind of thing that would seem so silly
But not when they’ve both had a few

Well calm down, temper, temper
You shouldn’t get so annoyed
You’re acting like a silly little boy
And they wanted to be men
And do some fighting in the street
(They said) no surrender
No chance of retreat

And so why are we in the taxi?
‘Cause I didn’t want to leave
I said it’s High Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?
Went for it but the red light was showing
And the red light indicates doors are secured

09. Mardy Bum

Well now then Mardy Bum
I’ve seen your frown
And it’s like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there’s a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer
It’s one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was all up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember that
On a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got the face on

Well now then Mardy Bum
Oh I’m in trouble again, aren’t I
I thought as much
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can’t bear

Why can’t we just laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s rate hard to remember that
On a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got the face on

And yeah I’m sorry I was late
But I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can’t be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh when you say I don’t care
But of course I do, yet I clearly do, yeah!

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s rate hard to remember that
On a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got the face on

10. Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…

Last night these two bouncers
And one of em’s alright
The other one’s the scary one
His way or no way, totalatarian

He’s got no time for you
Looking or breathing
How he don’t want you to

So step out the queue
He makes examples of you
And there’s nowt you can say
Behind they go through to the bit where you pay
And you realise then that it’s finally the time
To walk back past ten thousand eyes in the line

And you can swap jumpers and make another move
Instilled in your brain you’ve got something to prove
To all the smirking faces and the boys in black
Why can’t they be pleasant?
Why can’t they have a laugh?

He’s got his hand in your chest
He wants to give you a duff
Well secrectly I think they want it all to kick off
They want, arms flying everywhere and
Bottles aswell it’s just
Something to talk about
A story to tell you

Well I’m so glad they turned us all away we’ll put it down to fate
I said a thousand million things that I could never say this morning
Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?
This town’s a different town today
Said this town’s a different town to what it was last night
You couldn’t have done that on a Sunday

That girl’s a different girl today
Said that girl’s a different girl to her you kissed last night
You couldn’t have done that on a Sunday

Of course not!

Well I’m so glad they turned us all away we’ll put it down to fate
I thought a thousand million things that I could never think this morning
Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?
Last night what we talked about
It made so much sense
But now the haze has ascended
It don’t make no sense anymore

11. When The Sun Goes Down

Who’s that girl there?
I wonder what went wrong
So that she had to roam the streets
She dunt do major credit cards
I doubt she does receipts
It’s all not quite legitimate

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he’ll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes
Yeah, that he’s got a driving ban
Amongst some other offences

And I’ve seen him with girls of the night
And he told Roxanne to put on her red light
They’re all infected but he’ll be alright
Cause he’s a scumbag, don’t you know
I said he’s a scumbag, don’t you know!

Although you’re trying not to listen
Overt your eyes and staring at the ground
She makes a subtle proposition
“I’m sorry love I’ll have to turn you down”

He must be up to something
What are the chances sure it’s more than likely
I’ve got a feeling in my stomach
I start to wonder what his story might be

They said it changes when the sun goes down
Around here

Look here comes a Ford Mondeo
Isn’t he Mister Inconspicuous?
And he don’t even have to say ‘owt
She’s in the stance ready to get picked up

Bet she’s delighted when she sees him
Pulling in and giving her the eye
Because she must be fucking freezing
Scantily clad beneath the clear night sky
It doesn’t stop in the winter, no
Around here

They said it changes when the sun goes down
Over the river going out of town

What a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he’ll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes that he’s got a nasty plan
I hope you’re not involved at all

12. From The Ritz To The Rubble

Last night these two bouncers
And one of em’s alright
The other one’s the scary one
His way or no way, totalatarian

He’s got no time for you
Looking or breathing
How he don’t want you to

So step out the queue
He makes examples of you
And there’s nowt you can say
Behind they go through to the bit where you pay
And you realise then that it’s finally the time
To walk back past ten thousand eyes in the line

And you can swap jumpers and make another move
Instilled in your brain you’ve got something to prove
To all the smirking faces and the boys in black
Why can’t they be pleasant?
Why can’t they have a laugh?

He’s got his hand in your chest
He wants to give you a duff
Well secrectly I think they want it all to kick off
They want, arms flying everywhere and
Bottles aswell it’s just
Something to talk about
A story to tell you

Well I’m so glad they turned us all away we’ll put it down to fate
I said a thousand million things that I could never say this morning
Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?
This town’s a different town today
Said this town’s a different town to what it was last night
You couldn’t have done that on a Sunday

That girl’s a different girl today
Said that girl’s a different girl to her you kissed last night
You couldn’t have done that on a Sunday

Of course not!

Well I’m so glad they turned us all away we’ll put it down to fate
I thought a thousand million things that I could never think this morning
Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?
Last night what we talked about
It made so much sense
But now the haze has ascended
It don’t make no sense anymore

13. A Certain Romance

Well oh they might wear classic Reeboks
Or knackered Converse
Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks
But all of that’s what the point is not
The point’s that there ain’t no romance around there
And there’s the truth that they can’t see
They’d probably like to throw a punch at me
And if you could only see them, then you would agree
Agree that there ain’t no romance around there

You know, oh it’s a funny thing you know
We’ll tell ‘em if you like
We’ll tell ‘em all tonight
They’ll never listen
Cause their minds are made up
And course it’s all okay to carry on that way

And over there there’s broken bones
There’s only music, so that there’s new ringtones
And it don’t take no Sherlock Holmes
To see it’s a little different around here

Don’t get me wrong, oh there’s boys in bands
And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands
And just cause he’s had a couple of cans
He thinks it’s alright to act like a dickhead

Don’t you know, oh it’s a funny thing you know
We’ll tell em if you like
We’ll tell em all tonight
They’ll never listen
Cause their minds are made up
And course it’s all okay to carry on that way

But I said
No! Oh no!
Well you won’t get me to go!
Not anywhere, not anywhere
No I won’t go
Oh no no!

Well over there there’s friends of mine
What can I say, I’ve known ‘em for a long long time
And yeah they might overstep the line
But I just cannot get angry in the same way
Not, not in the same way
Not in the same way
Oh no, oh no no